General info:
Mai's dreams are our first indication of Shadow, Mai's shadow, who is first explained in ch. 37. All MGs eventually develop a shadow.
After each dream Mia wakes up with either no memory of the dream, or a limited memory that quickly fades to nothing.
In each dream she interacts with a being that looks and sounds like her except for a few cosmetic changes. (Eyes, hair length, skin tone, etc.)
First dream Ch.3
Notable info:
pillar made from electricity shaped like thorned vines. Colors pitch black core with a violet outline. “The vines gave a sense of something like isolation or emptiness. Wrapped like they were trying to keep something away.” Mai ch.3
Second dream ch.14
Notable info:
Mai had a sense she was “getting closer to where I needed to be”
“I felt the hum of electricity, and something else. Not a physical sensation but an emotion, almost like… emptiness? Loneliness?” Mai ch.14
Mai’s other self? (As of yet unknown exactly what she is) said “Kanashī, Sabishī. Kowai. Mou… gaman dekinai” which Mai translated to “Sad. Lonely. Scary. I can’t take it anymore…” Mai(‘s?) ch.14.
3rd dream ch.20
Notable info:
Following quotes from conversation between Mai and the being that looks like her. In ch.20
“I made my way to the pillar, an odd sense of nostalgia mingled with comfort washing over me. There was something else under it though, a sharp, pining feeling of… shame? Guilt? Fear? A mixture of the emotions, maybe, honed into a knife stuck inside the depths of my heart.”
“A gentle hum emanated from the electricity, soothing the needles of anxiety in my lungs.”
“I wanted to save Lily… and everyone else in the shelter. I just… wanted everyone to be safe. It didn’t matter if…”
“If you were safe,” she finished for me. “If you got hurt. If you died. You never even stopped to really consider those things. Because it didn’t matter. It never does.”
“Shh, it’s okay,” she hushed me, her voice growing more tired. “I just wanted to make sure you understand, that’s all. There’s nothing wrong with putting others first, even to that extent, not so long as that’s what you really want. What does it matter, getting hurt, if it’s the path to your happiness? So long as you understand, we can bear it, just like we always have.”
A gentle, regretful smile stretched across her lips, and her next words reverberated through my bones with power.
“I’m the painful truths you don’t want to accept, bound by the lies we spin together to keep you safe. I’m the ever present thorns imprisoning your heart and the shelter from all the pains you can’t bear. I’m the reflection of something shattered and beautiful, something perfect in its brokenness. So breathe, Mai, and let me shoulder a share of your burdens, just like I always have. Let me help, and forget, because it’s not over yet, and you’re running out of time.”
After waking up Mai notes that her recent traumatic experiences (amputating her own arm) feel oddly distanced similar to how her past trauma feels after time has passed.